Sunday, 24 March 2013

I've just got to work what I'm going to say.

I don't think I can be with someone who has a drinking problem. I'm talking about my boyfriend Prince Charming.

I've been thinking about it for a while now. He'd been off alcohol for 10 weeks and however great our relationship has been while he was sober, I always worried that once he went back to alcohol, it probably wouldn't work. He decided to go back to alcohol tonight during his guys' night in (which we had previously discussed, and we agreed he should have a maximum of 2 beers, which is already a lot after 10 weeks of sobering up from a drinking problem).

But when I spoke to him on the phone just now (I wanted kind words after that tear-jerker of a film - see previous post!) - his words were slurred, he expressed himself strangely, and I knew that second he was tipsy. He'd had 3 beers. It might not seem like a lot to you, but I know my boyfriend, and even though he doesn't now recognise his issue with booze, it's been as plain as day to me for the past year and a half of our relationship, that he has a drinking problem. That things could end in tears.

He can't say 'No' to another. And I don't think he'll ever be able to. We talk about future plans, about our lives together, even about silly marriages. Most of the time, I really honestly thought that he was The One. I've just been really naive. This ugly thing has been staring me right in the face for so long, screaming 'Get out while you still can!!!' but I was CONVINCED that a man with a drinking problem can change for the better. Well, not gonna happen. Is that what I really want for my life? And to be so worried about his drinking all the time? No, definitely not. It wouldn't be fair to me, nor to him.

God I knew it was too good to be true. Is every guy going to have these issues? I know I have my issues but I recognise them and WANT to change them. Men are childish. I feel a mixture of pain and numbness (weeeeird), and my shoulders are shaking. I cried for one second. Now I feel perfectly calm. Even though I hurt and I'm numb.

I've just got to work what I'm going to say.

EDIT 01:28am: OH THE IRONY! so because of my boyfriends drinking problem, and because Im basically gonna break up with the man i love, i couldnt sleep so i was like OK LETS HAVE A DRINK MAYBE THATLL HELP and a bottle of wine later now im FUCKING DRUNK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH THE IRONY. MAYBE its for the best we#re breaking up, everyones screwed up arent they


  1. I wrote a long comment about drunk relationships, but it got too personal, so I'm just going to write this instead: dating a drunk is not good. I am old enough to be your mother (well, almost, if I had been really young when I had you) and I have been there. We broke up and now I don't drink except for two glasses of champagne every New Years. My dad was a drunk and I am certain that the stomach cancer that killed him at the age of 52 had to do witch his excessive drinking.

  2. It really sucks to have to break up with someone you love, but if it has to be done, it has to be done.
    Find a friend to cry with first so you're not alone after it happens.
    Men are not childish. Some men are childish, just as some women are. Maybe this guy isn't right for you, but there are people out there who are strong and who will be strong for you.
    I wish you the best. I know how tough it is to break up with someone you care about and I wish you strength to get through it.

  3. One of the most obnoxious traits a person can have in a realationship is not realising there is a problem or knowing there is a problem but not wanting to change. I am a hypocrite when it comes to relationship advice because I would tell others to do the opposite of what I do, but hey how do you know something is wrong until you do it right? Anycrazylife, you are young, smart, have an interesting job to start your career off and the want of a better life for yourself. Go for it. "IT" being what feels right. You don't get the years back you feel were wasted when you are old and gray, so live. And yes not having a boyfriend as an emoitional back up is scary but really its not as hard as you feel it will be. Being single is one of those life lessons that help with every aspect of your life. You don't know how strong and self reliant you are until you go through it.
    That being said hell maybe he is the guy for you I don't know but you do.