I'm watching Prince Charming play a zombie-killing game on Xbox 360. You can dress up your avatars, and so it made perfect sense that he should deck his character in flip-flops, yellow skater boy clothes and a pink lady's hat (guys are freaks). Also the other human characters in the game communicate with each other by grunting and bum-humping the air. Imagine if people actually did that in real life. Like if my boss had called me into his office to give me news of my promotion by going 'Ooh, ungh, agh, agh agh, ooh, ungh agh' and humping his desk. I would've probably kicked him in the face.
Badass or what ?
ANYWAY. I did NOT eat healthily yesterday - I didn't binge but that is not to say I didn't eat total crap. In the morning, I had two choc chip cookies with my French baguette toast, then after the gym, I had soup and cookies, then when I got to Prince Charming's after work in the evening, we ate ice cream, chicken wrapped in bacon and cheese, and salad. Not in that order, OBVIOUSLY. DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I'M A FREAK??? Nah it's fine if you do, I'd just have to find out where you live and sit on your head. (What am I on about again.)
Because I tell Prince Charming absolutely everything, I turned to him after dinner, did the sad puppy dog eye look, and he knew at that exact moment that I was feeling the urge to go make myself sick. I felt not-in-the-good-way full. He was sweet as ever, cuddled me and said that it would pass, and that I should sit here with him for a while. That made me feel all fuzzy inside, and I didn't go to the bathroom. BUT. What if he hadn't been there? What if I hadn't done the cute-puppy-dog-eye look? I am absolutely certain I would've gone to the crap-hole (NO NOT TO TAKE A CRAP, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASSUME THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? You sick people. Just kidding, I love you really.) I really really need to be able to cope when I'm alone.
SO. BLOODY. CUTE. Me want one NOW
In other news, Prince Charming has man-flu, which means he has turned into a groaning vegetable of pain, crying out at having a blocked nose and proclaiming that he is going to die and, 'please have mercy on me, Mr Cold'. LIKE SERIOUSLY. Men are SUCH wusses! Yet is it weird that I find it really endearing and cute? Indeed my maternal instinct has kicked in and I am taking good care of him (if Freud is correct, I see Prince Charming as my 'son' figure, which makes me feel like his Mum, and that subconsciously 'turns me on'. WTF I know right? That made my brain fall out of my arse too).
As Prince is ill, and because he keeps crying out in pain and despair at his own misery, he wants comfort food, meaning TONS of ice cream ('It clears my sinuses and stops me sneezing so much,' he says with Carte d'Or dribbling down his face), chocolate, Jaffa Cakes, pan cakes, chocolate Hob Nobs and god knows what else. He's basically turned into a girl. You know what I'm like around food. Needless to say, I am having a tough time right now, though watching him talk to groaning, air-humping people in his zombie game is staving off The Deed. Also I have the winds. I'm sure you were dying to know that.