Tuesday 19 February 2013

Brain cannot compute dirty plate by sink

Weird, weird, WEIRD, is how I've been feeling for the past couple of days. In a panicky way. Not least because I may or may not have murdered my pet tarantula Bob by feeding him too much salt (see article titled Hope I don't get chatted up too much) but mainly because I've been counting calories and controlling what I eat since yesterday. Prince has decided to go on a bit of a diet (even though he doesn't need to because he lights my fire as it is, if you know wha' I means! Wink wink) and control his calorie-intake, so I thought 'Yeah awesome, I can obviously do it better, therefore I shall.' (Also what is the deal with all of my readers being in love with Prince? Seriously, I'M meant to be the star of the show here)

I've therefore downloaded a free app called My Fitness Pal which is pretty decent in monitoring what goes in your stomach (I'm also talking nutrients here, not just the word 'cupcake') and your exercise routine. So you get an idea of what your usual routine actually sticks inside your body (Jeez, why does everything I say sound dirty lately?).

But. CONTROLLING calories has been making me feel panicky, as if the slightest slip-up would send me over the wall, and so I am that much more strict with myself. In other words, I haven't felt like this since my anorexia days (aaaaaah, the good ol' days of throwing a hissy fit because I'd had one cube of cucumber too many... *cough cough*) and that's made me feel really uncomfortable. And so I ended up eating four digestives instead of breakfast this morning, in my panicked state. Thankfully, I managed to control what I ate for the rest of the day so that it was relatively healthy. Except maybe for that mini cheesecake for dessert. CHEESECAKE, YOU WILL BE THE END OF ME!!! Honestly, why does cheesecake exist, apart from being there solely to torture one's soul?
 I tried to capture the essence of evil in cheesecake by using Windows Paint. This is art.

Good news though... I haven't purged in THREE DAYS!

In other news, my best friend Cinderella is moving in with me this weekend. Whehay! I should be super excited, which I am I guess, but we both have quite strong personalities so I wonder how it's all going to turn out. Obviously, I'm the strongest of the two so I will have no problem rugby-tackling her off the sofa when I want to watch 90210 (which is starting to totally suck. WHY did Naomi and Sam break up??? It made absolutely no sense whatsoever, except for the fact Sam is an annoying butt-face and I would've signed the divorce papers before even marrying him. And how did he manage to set up a multi-million dollar corporation while in his first year of uni? GAHHH BRAIN CANNOT COMPUTE SUCH RUBBISH).
 Just LOOK AT HIS HAIR! Baaaaaarrrrrffffffff.

Erm where was I? Oh yes. Cinderella moving in. The trouble is, I am manically obsessive about being clean and tidy, and folding and straightening things (I scare myself sometimes. The voices in my head tell to do it), but I think Cinderella will be OK in communal areas. Though if she leaves ONE dirty plate by the sink, I WILL stick her face up her butt (god that's actually disgusting). Of which my previous flatmate has had the pleasant experience.

GAHHHHHHHHH BRAIN CANNOT COMPUTE DIRTY PLATE BY SINK!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

  1. I have that app and it sort of makes me freak out about eating more. It's funny but true. I mean, one carrot over and I'm pissed, thinking about throwing my chair hulk style. Not really, but really.

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah that's the trouble with these apps - it's the whole 'control over numbers' thing, it requires exactitude and that gets really scary if you go 1kcal over because it feels like you've screwed up.

      Princess xxx
      http://keepcalmdonteatcake.blogspot.co.uk/

      Delete
  2. Oh dear. I used to live with three guys and every week I was throwing a bitch fit about dishes. Resorted to putting dirty dishes in their beds hah.
    And I'm so ocd that I have two apps. my fitness pal and another called lose it. I think I was better off without them because now I obsess over everything. not like I didn't before..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guys can be pretty horrific!!! The dirty dishes in bed is definitely something I will try. Maybe stick a dog poo on their pillow? YEEEAHHHH THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

      Yeah these apps breed obsession, which is something I'm concerned about because once you let go of them, you lose the control

      Princess xxx

      Delete
  3. Living with other people is such a learning experience, like I learned I don't really like people. Ok, that is a bit too much, I just really need alone time once in awhile that's all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I once lived with a complete creep from Made in Chelsea who kept saying he wanted to sleep with me and once snuck into my room at 4am in his underpants, drunk and stroked my leg, saying he really fancied me - I MOVED OUT. GAH!!! Traumatic.

      Princess xxx

      Delete
  4. YAY! Good job on not purging!
    Oh gosh, two strong personalities living with each other can go so wrong. But it can also go so right! If you two are friends I bet it'll turn out for the better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clash of the Titan...esses ? Is that the feminine for Titans???

      We'll see how it goes, don't want to speak too soon - I have to stick her head down the loo in a month's time. Not having flushed the toilet.

      Princess xxx

      Delete